


i don't feel no shame

by etherealthings



Category: Tiny Meat Gang (Band)
Genre: First Orgasm, M/M, Mormons, Religious Guilt, brief mentions of marcus sam and aleena, durfing, i also reference one of the girl define girls like once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 21:30:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20495642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/etherealthings/pseuds/etherealthings
Summary: Cody and Noel are students at BYU, Utah's premier Mormon university.





	i don't feel no shame

**Author's Note:**

> hi yall. this is the longest thing i've written for the tmg fic tag and it also might be my pièce de résistance.  
A few things you should know before reading:  
1) RPF disclaimer: none of this is real and i respect the boys  
2) I am not part of LDS!! If anything is wrong it's because the research has failed me. also some things might be over-exaggerated but it's fic so use ur imagination  
3) you miiight have to google some of the terms i used but jsyk mormons aren't allowed to swear or consume caffeine or have sex or any of that fun stuff 
> 
> that's it i hope u like it !!

It was a day just like any other: Cody and Noel went to their classes, had lunch with some friends, and finally settled into their dorm to do some homework. They were freshmen at Brigham Young University, a private college in Provo, Utah owned by the Church of Latter Day Saints. 

Both of them grew up in Utah, were active in the church, and basically had no other choice than to go to BYU. When they first met on move-in day, they instantly clicked. Some would call them inseparable, but ultimately didn’t suspect anything strange about how close they were. 

“Dude, do you know how to do calc? This stuff is driving me crazy,” Cody asked from his spot on his bed. He had his laptop, a textbook, and a half-eaten Chik-Fil-A sandwich sprawled across his comforter, him sitting cross legged in the middle. 

Noel looked up from the textbook that he was feverishly reading and gave Cody a sympathetic look. 

“I wasn’t super good at math in high school,” he admitted. “I’m also taking stat this semester, so I’m not sure if that’s of any help,” he said with a frown. 

Cody shook his head and shut his textbook. “Whatever, it’s not due until Tuesday. Maybe I’ll ask Marcus if he knows,” he said with a quiet sigh. He leaned back against the wall behind his bed. 

“Wanna play Mario Kart?” Cody said suddenly, holding up his Nintendo Switch. 

Noel looked up at him again and laughed. “Man, I’m trying to do some homework here.”

Cody rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Noel!” he said exasperatedly, “it’s Friday! Come on, don’t you want to have some fun?”

“We’re Mormon, we’re not allowed to have fun,” Noel replied without missing a beat. His tone was joking, but there was a tinge of bitterness in his voice. 

“Suit yourself,” Cody said, then focused his attention on coming in first place in Mario Kart. Noel, on the other hand, could barely pay attention, with how Cody was mashing the buttons and all. 

Noel looked up at the other boy, and noticed how his hair was flopping against his forehead. Cody’s hair looked so incredibly soft, and it sometimes looked a beautiful golden brown when it caught the light.

Not that Noel ever thought about that. 

He quickly redirected his attention to his textbook. Barely ten minutes later, Cody started whining again. 

“Noel, I am so bored,” he groaned. “Why isn’t there anything to do on campus?” he grumbled, tossing his Switch onto his pillow.

Noel groaned and finally closed his textbook, then set it aside. He sat on the edge of his bed and swung his legs back and forth, clearly deep and thought. 

“Didn’t Bethany invite you for a NCMO sesh on the down low?” Noel asked after a few moments of silence. 

Cody laughed in response. “She did, yeah. I don’t wanna go though, she’s not pretty,” he replied bluntly. 

Noel raised his eyebrows and nodded slowly, processing what Cody just said. “Fair enough.”

Cody got up and started pacing around the room. He seemed to be full of energy, which was typical for Cody, but now he seemed downright antsy.

“What’s gotten into you, dude? You didn’t smuggle one of those caffeine bars from Sam, did you?” Noel asked in a low voice, as if someone would hear them through the walls. 

Cody gasped. “No way, man! I couldn’t risk that,” he replied honestly. He then climbed up onto Noel’s bed and sat beside him, also swinging his legs off of the side. The outside of his thigh was barely pressed up against Noel’s. 

Noel tried not to flinch at the contact. He looked down at Cody’s swinging legs and smiled. “God, we’re so short,” he noted. 

Cody rolled his eyes. “Shut up!” he laughed, then bit his lip. “I mean- be quiet. We’re not that short,” he mumbled.

“It’s okay, it’s cute,” Noel said casually. His eyes then widened. 

“What was that?” Cody asked, looking at the other boy. 

Noel quickly diverted his eyes and shook his head. “Nothing. I didn’t say anything.”

Cody heard what Noel said perfectly, and he would be lying if he wasn’t a bit intrigued. 

“So, uh, I heard Aleena was trying to take you on a date. Are you gonna go?” Cody asked softly, trying to redirect the conversation.

Noel shrugged and sighed deeply. “She’s an absolutely wonderful girl, but I don’t know if I feel like dating girls right now,” he replied honestly.

Cody gave him a side eye. “Dating _ girls _right now?” he asked for clarification. 

Noel stuttered. “O-Oh, uh, I mean, like, just dating in general. Obviously I’d be dating girls, I’m straight, bro,” he said somewhat defensively. 

Cody nodded and patted Noel’s knee. “Yeah, man, of course. No worries,” he said with a big grin. He was always so optimistic and easygoing, quite different from Noel’s seriousness. 

There was a moment of quiet. Noel stared at the carpet on the floor while he swung his legs off of the edge of the bed again. Finally, Cody spoke once more. 

“Have you ever durfed?” he whispered, speaking while avoiding eye contact. 

“Like one or two times when I was in the tenth grade,” Noel replied quietly. “It wasn’t that great. The girl was being really weird about it, and...and it kinda hurt afterwards,” he mumbled. 

“I’ve never done it before,” Cody admitted. He was nervously chewing on his lip as he spoke. 

“You’re not missing much, man. It kinda sucks. I mean...it kinda stinks,” he corrected himself. 

“I think I’d like to try it out one time, though. But, like, what if I’m bad at it?” Cody asked, finally making eye contact with Noel. 

“It just takes practice to get the movements right. It’s also a lot better if you’re wearing sweatpants and not jeans. Learned that the hard way,” Noel said with a slightly bitter chuckle. 

Cody nodded and they sat in silence once more. He noted that both he and Noel were currently wearing sweatpants, since they were just lounging around and doing homework. It was about 10pm, their door was closed and locked, and the blinds were drawn. 

“Do you think homosexuals actually burn in hell?” Cody blurted out suddenly. 

Noel furrowed his eyebrows, then looked at Cody. “The Bible says a man shall not lie with another man, Cody,” he replied with a completely blank expression. He sounded like a robot repeating back a command from his master. 

“I know that. But. It doesn’t say anything about a man kissing another man,” Cody replied. “Or...or durfing with another man,” he added in a nearly silent whisper.

Noel wasn’t sure how to respond. It was clear that Cody was trying to make a move, but he couldn’t understand why. Cody can’t be gay. Mormons are just not allowed to be gay, that’s the rule. 

“Dude, are you gay?” Noel asked, whispering the last word.

Cody looked alarmed. “No! No, dude, ew. I am not gay. I’m just curious. And, like, need practice. Just like you said.

Noel nodded. It seemed logical. The Bible does say not to lie with another man, but it didn’t say that you couldn’t do other things with another man. And he had to admit, he was a little bit curious as well. 

“If we do this, we have to take this secret to our graves,” he finally said, his voice so quiet that it barely made a sound at all. 

Cody nodded quickly. “Of course, of course. Nobody will ever know,” he promised. 

Neither of them knew how to initiate this. 

After fumbling around a bit, Cody found himself comfortably nestled beneath Noel. The words of the Bible echoed through his head: _ man shall not lie with another man. _

But the Bible meant lie as in to have sex with, right? And they’re not having sex so it’s okay...right? Cody shook the thought from his mind. 

Noel began to awkwardly rub himself up against Cody. It was weird, doing this with a boy. He felt Cody’s dick grinding up against his own and it felt wrong. It felt good, but he knew it was wrong. 

God, it was so awkward. They even bumped heads a few times, which elicited a laugh from Cody but made Noel cringe. 

"Relax, dude," Cody whispered. "It's all in good fun, right?" he said, trying to reassure the other boy.

Noel tried to imagine that Cody was a girl, which was extremely unsuccessful when Cody started letting out low grunts and moans. That, and the fact that he clearly felt Cody’s dick twitching against his own. 

“Shh! Shush, dude!” Noel whisper-yelled. Cody nodded his head and placed his hand over his mouth. 

The only thing Cody could think about was how he knew this was wrong. It was so, so, so wrong. But it also felt so freaking good. So _ fucking _good. 

Turns out, Noel actually had pretty good speed and stamina when it came to rhythmically grinding his hips down against Cody. So much so, that Cody began to feel afraid that he might finish. 

“Is this good?” Noel asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Cody bit his lip. “Yeah, but I’m scared it might be too good, if you know what I mean.”

Noel abruptly stopped. “No way, dude. You know you’re not allowed to have an orgasm if you’re not married,” he said. “To a woman!” he added. 

“I know, I know. But it feels so great and that release would feel so good,” Cody said, startling to ramble about how badly he wanted to come.

“You think I don’t know that, man?” Noel hissed in response. “Is it worth disappointing God over this? Over an orgasm?” he questioned, somewhat shaming Cody. 

Cody propped himself up on his elbows and got close to Noel’s face. 

“I don’t know if it’s worth it. I’ve never had one. Maybe it’s like, the best thing in the world. And _they_ just don’t want us to experience that,” he replied, staring dead into Noel’s eyes. 

Noel felt conflicted. On one hand, he knew it was wrong. On the other hand, it was _ so _hot that Cody was practically begging to have an orgasm...and that Noel was in control of that. Or he thought he was, until Cody started grinding back up against him. 

“Come on, Noel. Let’s just have some fun,” Cody whispered, a bit of a smirk on his lips. 

That seemed to do it for Noel, as he was dangerously close to finishing already. Had Cody not said anything, this would’ve been his limit, and he would’ve just been left feeling unsatisfied again.

Fortunately, Cody had a clear goal in mind. Finally, Noel felt his dick pulsate as he released, cum slowly forming a wet stain on his underwear that seeped into his sweatpants. Cody watched as Noel’s eyes rolled back into his head. It looked like bliss. 

Cody kept grinding up against Noel, and watching the other boy finish finally pushed him over the edge a bit later. “Oh my god, oh my god,” he said breathlessly. 

“Don’t say the Lord’s name in vain,” Noel reminded, breathing heavily as he came down from his first ever orgasm. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Cody mumbled in response, his body tensing and twitching as a cum stain seeped its way onto his sweatpants as well. 

After they both finished, they pulled apart and avoided eye contact. Both of them had clearly felt ashamed and unsure about what had just happened. 

Cody finally spoke first. “I’m not gay,” he said. 

Noel nodded. “I’m not gay either,” he confirmed.

“What did you think of the orgasm?” Cody asked, mouthing the last word. 

“What I think is that we both need to change our pants,” Noel replied, ignoring the question. He got off of his bed and changed his pants and underwear with his back towards Cody. Cody felt too ashamed to look up and see what Noel may have looked like naked.

After Noel changed, he bit his lip and finally spoke his answer. “That felt, really good. Really, really good,” he said quietly. It was unlike Noel to admit his true feelings about something so taboo, but he got this far, so why not?

Cody’s face practically lit up, and he felt some of the guilt melt away. “I agree. That felt incredible, like, like-- I can’t describe it.”

“But we can never do it again, okay? Never ever,” Noel said seriously, pointing a finger at Cody.

Cody, who had still not changed his underwear and pants, threw his hands up to express his innocence. “Yeah, I know! I know. Nobody will ever know and it’ll never happen again,” he corroborated. 

Noel nodded and let out a slow, deep breath. It felt like his brain was swimming in his head. While Noel zoned out, Cody changed his pants and underwear, and relocated back onto his bed. 

Noel opened his mouth to speak again, but said nothing. They didn’t have to talk about it. They both seemed satisfied with how it went, and he had trusted Cody to never utter a word about it to anyone. 

“We should go to bed,” Noel said as he climbed back up onto his own, pulling back his comforter as he did so. 

Cody yawned in response, then nodded. “Yeah, that kinda knocked me out,” he admitted. 

Noel didn’t respond, and just reached over to shut the lamp off. 

“Goodnight, bro,” he whispered into the darkness.

“Goodnight, man,” Cody whispered back. 

**Author's Note:**

> my discord is simone#1029 that's where I'm most active about fic if ya wanna chat!!  
Also the title is from the song shame by kngdvd, please give it a listen!!


End file.
